Thursday, February 9, 2017

My successful VBAC

For those of you who don't know a VBAC is a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean.

Let's start from the beginning...
I always knew I wanted a natural birth one with no medical intervention unless absolutely necessary. With my first pregnancy I just assumed a natural birth would happen for me no matter what. I had a male doctor. He knew my wishes but always made sure to tell me to keep my options open & always made sure to tell me how big I was & the baby was. I wasn't getting the support I should have had & needed from my doctor. He gave me no advice on what I could do to prepare my body for child birth. I was naive and trusted him & didn't look much further into my options. He told me my whole pregnancy he would let me go 42 weeks as long as everything was going well. I went in for my 40 week appointment & the dreaded words of if the baby doesn't come in 4 days you will be induced. I panicked, I was upset, & I allowed him to make that choice for me rather than standing up for myself.  The baby, fluid, my body...everything was completely healthy & normal. I was only dilated to a one.  I cried, stressed myself out, & was so tense following that appointment. The worst thing I could do to my body. My mom talked to my aunt about my concerns & she called to tell me some natural ways to try and induce labor on my own. Castor oil, raspberry tea, walking, nipple stimulation, sex...so I got to work and did them all. 

My husband and I went for a walk and on the way back around 10:30am  I had a small gush of fluid. I thought my water bag broke or tore. I started having regular contractions most of the day but they weren't progressing. I  hooked myself up to the breast pump & my contractions started coming hard & fast. I wasn't getting much of a break at that point because they were piggybacking. Fluid continued to leak & I was getting nervous so by 9pm we were heading to the hospital. I was only dilated to a 3 but they kept me because of fluid leaking. This is when everything went down hill. Intense contractions, intense back labor, &  poor nurse/doctor support. My husband & I both had a feeling that we should have switched doctors around week 25ish but I chose not too because of being "comfortable" & I really thought I could trust his word. I ended up with stadol, an epidural, and then a c-section. I fought long and hard for 36hours...I pushed for 3 hours. I ran out energy. I just wanted to meet my sweet baby & for the pain to go away. I had the hardest recovery. Could barely shower myself or take care of my baby for the first few days. It made for an emotional post partum. I yearned for that feeling of a natural birth and mine was everything but that. To top it off I had a very hard time with breast feeding. My sweet baby couldn't latch & I had to use a nipple shield. Another let down in my book at the time. Once I started following other people's breast feeding stories I realized it wasn't a "bad" thing to use a shield. It was what I had to do for 6 weeks and that was ok. As time went on I accepted our story of how our Toby David came into this world. I was ok that I had a csection because I literally did everything I could to have him naturally or at least somewhat naturally. All that mattered in the end was that we were both healthy & living!

Before I was ever pregnant again I knew I would be switching doctors no matter what. I needed a woman doctor & a supportive doctor. A few weeks after I had Toby I saw a status from a former friend on Facebook about her birth experience and basically  how she owed it all to the doctor who delivered her son as she was on the road to csection until this doctor came in for support. I commented and took note so I remembered for my next pregnancy. She said the doctor was like a drill Sargent & that was what she needed to get through it. I knew I would need the same. So a year later I find out I'm expecting again! I made an appointment to see Dr. Cataldi my new OBGYN. She was cautious but supportive of my desire to have a VBAC. We had a few complications in the beginning & some scares along the way (only because my sweet peanut was/is the most chill baby ever). Our  doctor was so supportive & just what we needed. I knew from the beginning that I made the right choice in choosing her.  Not once did she ever make me feel like I couldn't have a VBAC.

Ladies...it is SO important to have a doctor who supports what you want throughout your pregnancy, labor, & delivery. If you have any doubt then make the switch. I wish I would have when I had the gut feeling my first time. Research your options, don't settle. My sister in law gave birth to my sweet
nephew 3 months before our little peanut was born. Her birth story is amazing & she is amazing. She
gave me the reassurance that I could handle a natural labor/delivery. She was my inspiration throughout my whole experience. She had two wonderful midwives who gave her advice for herself & for me to have a successful VBAC.

 I believe that four things played a key role in my successful labor; primrose oil pills, raspberry leaf tea, being active, & getting my membranes stripped.. I took the primrose oil twice a day once orally & once vaginally. I drank raspberry leaf tea twice a day & I have a very active toddler to keep up with everyday ;)  I started dilating by week 37 & for the last month had felt lots of pressure. By February 9th, at my 39 week check up I was dilated to a 4 & my doctor stripped my membranes. She told me to go shopping to walk around & to stay close.So my mom, Toby, & I did just that. We had a
great last day hanging out just the three of us as we often did since Toby was born. I started feeling discouraged because I was expecting my contractions to pick up soon after the stripping. It wasn't until we were in target around 4pm that I started getting irregular strong contractions. By the time we left target & we're on our way back my parents that I started recording my contractions. They didn't slow down but they weren't unbearable so I gave my hubby a heads up that my mom would be giving me a ride home. By the time I got home & gave my emotional last kisses to my sweet Toby I was contracting good & hard.

My sweet hubby had candles lit & picked up the house to help comfort & relax me. It was our goal to stay home for as long as I felt needed. We didn't want a repeat of what happened with Toby. I tried a bath with lavender & although it felt great & helped me relax our tub just isn't big enough. My go-to & favorite spot during this labor was sitting on the yoga ball while resting my upper body on our bed. I was able to keep the pelvis open & rock back and forth to get through contractions. My
contractions were coming every few minutes for a few hours but it wasn't until I started to feel nauseous & got the uncontrollable shakes that I thought maybe it was time. I let that go on for probably 30-45 minutes before I decided it was time. Dave was nervous & kept asking if I was sure that I was ready. I remember telling him that I was never more sure of what my body was telling me than in that moment. It is a beautiful & amazing feeling letting your body do exactly what it is made
to do. I have never been more intune with my body & mind than I was in that moment.

Dave grabbed what we needed (although he still forgot the baby's bag & the camera 😅), started the car, helped me down the stairs, called my mom,  and we headed off to the hospital. When we got to the hospital I went into transition. We got to the hosptial sometime around 11 or 11:30 pm. We had to go through the emergency room. I was now in so much pain I felt like I just needed to scream, pass out, & drink a gallon of water all at the same time. Checking in & waiting for an OB nurse to come get me felt like an eternity. I think that was when my nerves really set in. There was nothing more I wanted than to have a natural & healthy birth. I was so nervous that they were going to tell me I wasn't that far a long & that this pain was going to last for a few more hours. I didn't want an epidural but I told Dave I don't care what I said I need an epidural because of the pain. I really had no clue how far a long I was because I labored with Toby for 36 hours. I had only been in labour for 6 hours. I for sure thought I had a long time to go & I didn't know how to handle the pain any longer. I really felt like I needed water, I asked Dave to ask the front desk ladies to get me some. To me it seemed like he wandered around like a lost sheep trying to ask. They also didn't seem to understand that I needed it that moment. I got sassy & by sassy I mean REALLY sassy & mouthy. I yelled " I need some fucking water right now!!!" Right after that my mom & sister walked in. My mom asks how I'm doing, I tell her I'm in so much pain & to give me her water. She knew I was in transition by how I was responding & acting. The OB nurse finally came down & started asking questions as she was wheeling me up. Dave "tried" ( by tried I mean he started answering questions wrong)  answering but of course even in that moment I couldn't not have control of the situation so I would answer through contractions. I told her "I'm a VBAC & I want to labor in the tub if I can" the nurse responded with "Oh hunny I think you're way past that point." By the time we were upstairs & got in the room I couldn't hold it together any longer. I started screaming the F word over & over & over & over again. I lost all control. The nurses & my lovely support could hardly keep themselves together. Yes I was totally that girl.

I had to undress & lie down on the bed. I ABSOLUTELY did not want to lie down. I was far to uncomfortable but of course they made me. Meanwhile Dave tells my mom he forgot the camera & baby's bag. My mom decided she would run back home to get the stuff once we found out how far along I was. My mom & sister brought bags of things to do because our first rodeo took a LONG time! None of us were thinking this was going to be quick.  They check me to see how far along I am.  My nurse assigned to me was WONDERFUL. Some of her helpers were also wonderful & others were not so wonderful to put it nicely. When she checked me she said "She's complete & ready to push." WHAT. I'm complete...I did it...I'm doing it. I'm going to have a natural birth. I needed that. I knew I could get through it. It wasn't going to be a long miserable night of labor after all. My mom almost passed out when she heard I was complete! At that point I felt like I needed to push. They wouldn't let me. They held my freaking legs shut.They paged my doctor but the doctor that was working came in to break my water since it hadn't broken on its own. He was an Asian man. Not that I have anything against Asian men I just started having flashbacks to Toby's birth. It was an Asian man who told me I had to have a c-section. I needed my doctor in that moment. I was terrified. I didn't want to push for 3 hours again & then be told I had to have a c-section. They finally let me start pushing. The doctor didn't give me much guidance but thinking back it's because he knew my doctor was going to be there soon so he was just passing time.

My doctor walked in & the first thing she says is " you waited a while to come in huh?" Guilty. But I wouldn't trade how it turned out for the world. Anyways in that moment when she walked in she was my personal super hero. I needed to see her familiar face. I needed her encouragement & guidance. That is everything & more that she was for me. She coached me & let me know I was going to do this. She never once doubted me in my 9 months of being pregnant & preparing myself for the birth I could only dream of having. I pushed for less than 45 minutes & my sweet & perfect baby girl made her appearance into this world. I was literally convinced until the moment I first held her that I couldn't possibly love another human the way I love Toby. I never knew my heart could feel so much love. She was lieing on me & I had no idea of her gender. I didn't care. In that moment I was so amazed at this beautiful little life that I was able to bring into the world 100% naturally. The nurses are numb to saying the gender out loud anymore well because everyone finds out...except us ;) Finally Dave says "It's a girl!" My dream came true, first my sweet boy who gets to be the best big brother to his precious little sister! My heart doubled in size.

I've never felt such a high in my life than I did after my VBAC. I felt so empowered, beautiful, brave & relief. OH THE RELIEF! This was the birth I always wanted and knew I could do. I wanted this more than anything. I surrounded myself with supportive and loving people. I did everything I could to make this a successful VBAC story. Not only was the birth amazing but the recovery was just as great! I could get up to pee an hour after birth all by myself, I could physically take care of myself and my baby, and move around to get comfortable to nurse. I couldn't do any of that with my c-section. I would take the labor pains over and over again before I would have another c-section recovery. So many positives come with it! I have experienced two very different labors and births. By far I would natural in a heart beat. Ladies if you're thinking of a VBAC or going all natural...DO IT! YOU WERE MADE TO DO THIS!